Soul Meets Body
by briannaaa
Summary: Bella and Edward's story ended after Chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella had a one night stand, resulting in baby Piper. Now Edward is back. He would do anything to get her back. Will their story have a new ending? AU, OOC and BxE :
1. Now That We're Done

**Disclaimer:** Everything belongs to Stephine Meyer; except the wonderful characters that you don't see in the book (:

**Now that we're done  
I'm so sorry  
Why did I lie I'm so sorry  
I know I hurt you  
I know I hurt you**

**-Now That We're Done by Metro Station**

**

* * *

**

When Edward left me 6 years ago lying in that forest, I was broken. I'm not going to lie. It wasn't the same without him. I spent my whole senior year of high school walking around like a zombie. I spent that whole year hoping he would come back. Isn't senior year supposed to be the year that you have fun, go to lots of parties and celebrate the fact that you no longer had to get up at the crack of dawn, go to school, learn things you have no interest in, and deal with bitches and backstabbers and cafeteria food that could quite possibly be alive and mooing? I did none of that. My senior year consisted of staying at home, cooking dinner for Charlie. The only thing celebratory that I did in that year was a little twirl of enjoyment when I got into Colombia. Don't ask me how I did it. I don't even know.

It wasn't until my freshman year in college, one whole year after the incident on my birthday, that I realized he wasn't coming back. That's when I became furious. My sorrow became full outrage. I was pissed. I wasted my last year in high school over a vampire who left me crying in the middle of the forest for hours. Hours. Hell, it could have been days if Sam hadn't found me. I don't care if he didn't want me anymore, you don't just leave someone lying in the middle of a wooded forest for hours on end crying their hearts out. The day I turned 19, I realized that I needed to get over it. It was time I put on my big girl panties and dealt with it.

And that's what I did. My roommate Lai and I went out clubbing, after I told her about my epiphany that went along the lines of changing. I wasn't going to be the half-dead Bella, mourning over her lost lover vampire anymore. No, I was going to live my life. I wasted the most important year of my life on autopilot. College was supposed to be the time for a new start, and that's exactly what was going to happen. I was in a new city, with a new friend.

So Lai and I got dressed up in really hot outfits. She did my hair and my makeup, and in one weak moment, I thought about Alice. I quickly shook that thought off. We both had on sequined dresses that had a low-cut v-neckline and a short, short, short length. Mine was bright red, and Lai's was gold, accenting her auburn hair perfectly. I was "starting new" in style. We were going to the hottest club in town, and I'm sure if Alice were here, she would be proud. When we arrived, I had a few shots, danced, and met a guy at the bar.

It doesn't sound so bad does it? It sounds like the typical teenage experience. I was proud of myself that night. Even though I knew I wasn't completely put back together, I knew that in a year, it could happen. I was done wallowing over Stupid Shiny Silver Volvo Owners named Edward Cullen. I liked this new Bella. She was a hoot. She had so many guys at the bar, throwing cheesy pick up lines at her, and she enjoyed it. She enjoyed it so much that she might have gotten a little carried away with some guy who's named started with the letter P. Paul? Preston? Porter? Pedro? I honestly don't remember. All I remember is waking up in some strange apartment with the mysterious man named Perry, getting dressed, and walking out of the apartment to hail a taxi back to the dorm. I know, I should've felt ashamed and disgusted, but somehow, I felt relieved. It wasn't like I was married or anything. I quickly checked my left hand just to make sure. Thank god I wasn't. Yes, I may have just lost my virginity to some man named Pablo, but I had fun. I didn't feel any different. Honestly, after a year of excruciating numbness, I didn't believe in the whole "wait to spend it with the one you want" thing anymore. He had his chance. It was eye opening. I knew that Edward wasn't going to hold me down any longer. If he really wanted to be with me, he had his chance.

Sure, if he were to walk up to my door, I wouldn't turn him down, but In the meantime, I might as well have fun. And I did. And wasn't this the best way? I had no ties to the man that took my virginity. I wouldn't have to stand there and see that person every day for the rest of my life. It's not like it was a regular thing for me either, I wasn't a slut. I was just letting off some steam that was slowly building up in me for the last year. It was pointless sex. And that's all I wanted.

Well, at the time I thought it was pointless sex.

I had a different opinion on that matter when a month later I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, staring at the small stick that I just pissed on. I picked up the other 2, all saying the exact same thing.

Who knew that three a tiny, pink plus signs could change my life?

* * *

**Edward POV: 6 years after he left.**

I knew I messed up. I wasn't stupid. I was helpless. So far, in the last 6 years, I have been doing absolutely nothing. Right now, I was curled up in a ball in the middle of a cottage in Canada. The only things I could do were think about Bella and me, all of our moments together.

I could see us lying in the meadow on that day that I confessed my undying love for her. The way she gapped in awe at my skin, and not run off in fear.

That night, lying in her bed, something I only dreamed of doing with her since I snuck into her window so many years ago.

The first night I heard her say my name in her sleep.

If I tried really hard, I could smell her hair, her blood, her scent. I sometimes would imagine her lying next to me on the floor, listening to my iPod while her head rested on my chest. I would have conversations with her in my head that would somehow become vocalized. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. I saw us. I saw her life now. I saw _our_ life. I saw everything.

All I could do was wallow in the memories. And think about how stupid I was. I let her go. I straight out lied to her about everything, and I let her walk away.

I couldn't help but sob and heave at the fact that she probably had a family now, a husband, a nice home with a white-picket fence and a porch swing.

_She's happy Edward! That's all you wanted. You wanted her to be happy._

Even if she was happy, I couldn't help the feelings I got whenever I pictured her life now. It was always a painful feeling in my stomach and would only become worse when I realized that it could have been me and her with that life.

I gave up us all because I wanted to keep her human. Now that I had 6 years to dwell on this fact, I realized that I should have just changed her. She obviously wanted to be with me, and at the time, it was forever. I had it all. She was willing to give everything up for me, including that precious soul of hers, just so we could be together forever. She would experience days of fire rising inside of her, just so I wouldn't be at her bed when she was 90 and dying, staring at her wrinkled form, while I stood there in all my glory as a 17 year old. To be honest, that thought scared me more than anything. I didn't want to have to watch her die, knowing that we could have had forever.

So instead of giving into those choices, a) being to change her, b) being with her while she stayed human, I took the cowards way out of it and decided that if I wasn't around, I wouldn't have to choose. So I left her, and when I did that, I left a part of me.

Just then the phone rang, and since I was getting real depressed, I decided that maybe a conversation with someone other than the imaginary angel would be a good thing. I didn't want to do something rash in the heat of the moment. Today was worse than other days, and maybe just one little phone call would keep my mind away from a trip to Italy.

"Edward." It was Carlisle.

"Hello Carlisle." I was glad it was him calling and not Alice. She would always leave me messages telling me about her visions, saying that today would be the "day." The day where I would finally get my shit together and go find the love of my life. I would ignore that and wallow. The future changed on the decisions you made, and I would always change my mind. Sure, at some moments I thought about finding her. Explaining what was going through my head. But I would always find myself shutting that idea down.

Because in the truth of the situation, I liked being depressed. It made me feel human. I made me feel as if I hadn't just lived through 2 world wars, a depression, and decades of horrible music. I felt like I had nothing else to live for. And it was true, I didn't. When you live forever, feeling like you were going to die at any given second isn't an option for us. It doesn't happen all that often.

"Edward, I need you to do something for me. I know you won't want to, but I need you to run down to New York. There have been a number of killings and we think it's being done by a newborn. We can't be certain; we just want you to check them out. Check around the Columbia campus first, most of the people have been reported to be seen around there. If you wait a day or two, I can send you my Alumni invitation so you can get an in depth looks at the situation." Newborns were not something that should be messed with, and he knew that. We wanted to make sure nothing was going wrong, and no unnecessary visits from the Volturi were to come.

Still, I was dumbfounded. There was no way I was leaving my cottage in the middle of the cold, Canadian wilderness. I was not going newborn hunting.

"No." I know it was a bit harsh of a tone to use on my father, but he should know that I wasn't one for running mindless errands to New York.

"Edward, I know that's the last thing you want to do right now, but I need you to see if there is any trouble. Jasper, Alice, Esme and I are on a hunting trip in the middle of Africa at the moment. Rose and Emmett are on their honeymoon. It will only take a few days Edward." I knew this was a serious situation, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And who cares about newborns in New York? There was nothing there anyways, nobody of importance.

"Edward, please just do this for your father. It will take you a few days. Then you can go back to your house in Canada, and nobody will bother you. If there is a newborn, call us and we will handle everything." Esme was on the phone now, and her voice was pleading. She wanted me to get over this "funk" I've been in, but it wasn't that easy. You don't just 'get over' single-handily giving away the love of your life to someone else.

"EDWARD! Trust me, go to New York. Trust Me." Alice was on the phone now, and I knew that the underlying tone in her voice meant she knew something was going to happen.

"Alice, tell me what's going to happen." She paused. My voice was menacing.

"Are you sure? If I tell you, you have to promise me to go to New York." I admit my curiosity got the best of me. I will probably regret this later, me going to New York wouldn't hurt anybody. I already turned my back on the family; one favor for the people who "raised me" wouldn't kill me. It's not like I could die. If that was possible, I would be dead by now.

"Fine. I promise. Tell me what's going on." I grumbled into the phone.

Alice squealed. I could only imagine she was jumping up and down. "Okay, long vision short is that you're going to run into Bella. And you're not going to mess it up this time."

Somehow this all made sense. We didn't live anywhere near the city, if anything I was the closet. I suddenly knew why newborns would be a problem.

Bella was there. She was there, where a newborn was running around like crazy and she could get hurt. She was at stake. I was wrong, there was someone of importantce in New York and it was her. It was my life that was at stake, and I knew I oculdn't stand by and let her get damned to this imortalitly. If anybody was going to do it, it would be me.

No one else is going to touch _my_ Bella.

"Sure, I'll run to New York in a few days." With one last squeal from Alice, I hung up the phone.

In my 80 plus years of being a vampire, I never needed my heart. It was dead and lifeless. Six years ago, it miraculously came to life. I wasn't lying when I said I left part of me in the forest with Bella. I left my heart there. I gave it away, even if it was for selfish reasons, because I knew that nobody would ever be worthy of having it except her. In that one phone call from Alice, Carlisle and Esme, I realized that even if it was dead and lifeless, I couldn't live without my heart and the person I gave it too. In some ways, Bella herself was my heart. I didn't really use it before I met her, so maybe it was always sitting in Forks, waiting for me to come and get it. Bella was, and still is, everything to me. Why wouldn't she be my heart? It took me six long years to piece it together, but now that I have, I ran upstairs to get a shower and started packing. I couldn't live without it anymore.

It was time I did something about it.

It was time to get my heart back.


	2. Start All Over

**Disclaimer:** I am most certinly not Stephine Meyer. The only character I own is Piper. I aslo am not in Bowling For Soup (no matter how much I wish I was), so I don't own they lyrics. However, that doesn't mean you can't check out their amazing songs. I don't own Power Rangers either, thought I did think I was the Pink Power Ranger when I was little (:

Away we go...

**Out of the fire and into the fire again  
You make me want to forget  
And Start all over**

**-Start All Over by Miley Cyrus****Bella's POV (6 years later):**

* * *

"Alright Baby, Mommy will see you when she gets home from work alright?" I gave Piper a hug and a kiss on the check.

"Okay Mommy. See you when I get home! Have fun at work." She turned to get out of the car, but just like every other day, she turned back around and waved to Gabe, our driver.

"Bye Gabey!" She blew me and Gabe one last kiss and then ran up the steps into her school. Gabe and I both laughed, just like we do every day after dropping our precious Piper.

Piper was five now, and she just started school. Even if she was five years old, she was my best friend. Her hair color was the same as mine, but it had more of a red tint to it, just like my hair in the sunlight. Her eyes were brown too, and she inherited the pale skin. It's hard to believe that she looks so much like me. I wonder what her father looks like. I still don't know his name, but I'm leaning towards Patrick or Pablo. Piper Renee Swan was my daughter, my best friend, and my life. I decided to name her something that started with a "P" after her father, just so she could have a little something of him to hold onto. It was the least I could do since she doesn't even know who he is.

After having her at the ripe age of 19, I soon realized that I might have made a mistake, but it was a good one. When I called Renee to tell her about being pregnant, she yelled at me, but she was also proud of me for wanting to take such responsibilities into my own hands. She flew up as fast as she could from Florida, Phil joining her a few weeks later. Charlie was another story. He was furious, and wouldn't talk to me at all between the months of November and June. However, when I went into the delivery room on the 27th day of June, and he saw his granddaughter for the first time, all was forgiven.

I realized I had to get my shit together quite quickly, considering I still had another 3 years of college left and a kid. My roommate Lai and her boyfriend Nate helped out tremendously. We bought a small loft, and the four of us lived together. I got a job working at a café that had a great music scene. It was my idea to have weekly Open-Mic nights and we brought in a lot of crowds.

I made great friends serving coffee to the troubled New York souls. I had my regulars that came in just for my coffee and then there were my singers. Carri was a great guitar playing goddess onstage. I bonded with her instantly. She helped me with Piper a lot, and it was a great feeling knowing that people out there were actually willing to help you. Kia, she was a soulful sister. She wrote her own songs and sang them with some guy named Jay on the guitar. All three of them bonded, and it soon became a nice little hang out for all 4 of us to chill and let off some steam. Then Ryan showed up and he taught me how to write music.

Now, I was originally going to Colombia on full scholarship, after I worked my ass off during my zombie days. My plan was to go into literature, but while I was pregnant, I started writing down some thoughts. Instead of them turning into a world-wide best seller, they turned into lyrics, and by the time Piper turned 1, I had a whole composition book full of them. I'm not going to lie, alot of them were about Edward, but alot were about Piper too. He might have been the most important at one part of my life, but he gave that spot up the minute he left and I had no problem with Piper overtaking it. I showed them to the gang, and they said I had a real talent. So I majored in English and changed my minor into music management.

One day, I somehow convinced some hot shot to come check out our open Mic night. Clyde came in for my coffee daily, but I never figured out who he was until later. He was from the record label called Eclipse, and I was anxious for my friends to see what I had done for them. He liked every single one of them, and gave them a deal right on the spot. Kia and Jay stayed together, while Carri played guitar for Andiee Hayes, a solo artist. Ryan also got a solo career. When they found out that it was indeed I who set them up, they decided to help me. The next day I was sitting in an office across from Clyde Ryder, showing him my composition book.

He took an instant liking to my lyrics, and offered me a job with the record label. They would pay for me to go to college, give me an internship until I had enough experience and then offer me a job the minute I graduate. It was the greatest thing that could ever have happened to me, and I would have been a fool to turn an offer like that down. They would even let me bring Piper to the office, and had no problem paying for her daycare.

My job is easy. Basically, I write the lyrics to songs, and I get a lot of money for selling them to big-name artists. Most people have a problem with selling their lyrics, but it's not like I would sing them or anything. I also love the job. I go to meetings every once in a while, and I have a huge office that I never use. I travel a lot, and I take Piper with me. So far this year we've traveled to London, France, Spain, and Japan. Honestly, I just promote things and "my" music and the record company and meet famous people. It's quite fun, and Alice would love to see the money I spend on my wardrobe. Piper loves traveling with me, and I love it too. We get lots more mommy daughter time that way.

"Gabe, can you take me to the office please?" I asked as I took a sip of my coffee.

"Sure thing Miss Bella." He smiled and looked back at me, nodding his head. He was probably surprised that I asked to go to the office, considering I only go in about once a month or so.

Yesterday I got a call from my secretary, Kim, telling me that a new band named "Birth of a Theory" had an idea for a song and needed some help with fillers.

That's another thing. I don't always just write the songs, and sell them. Most of the time, bands come to me with ideas and lyrics and I help them scramble things around to make it flow. "Fillers" are what we call the bands that have everything down and just need help adding a few more words to their stanzas, to make it fit or to add more lines or an extra verse. I actually prefer helping than to writing. I've always been the person to help rather than lead.

"Important meeting at the office today Miss Bella?" Gabe asked me while driving down Broadway. He always calls me Miss Bella because Miss Swan is too formal, and Bella is too personal. It fits. Gabe knows everything about me; due to the numerous times I've jumped into the back of the car and cried. He cheers me up and doesn't mind when I blast sappy Girl Power songs when I'm going through a tough time.

Yes, I'll admit it. I crack sometimes. I may be pissed at him, but that doesn't mean I can't miss him or still love him. Edward will always own my heart; I just won't admit that to anyone. So whenever I get really sad thinking about the past, Gabe lets me turn up songs by 90's girl bands, like the Spice Girls and B*Witched. When Piper is in the car, he doesn't even mind listening to the numerous Sesame Street songs. Yes, I do happen to let my child watch Sesame Street. Big bird was my best friend when I was growing up. And Piper is way too cool for Dora the Explorer or the Wiggles. She also has this weird fascination with Power Rangers.

"Yeah, the company is marketing a new band that needs some lyric help." I smiled and so did he, because we both knew that I loved my job. Gabe loved his job too; he told me that driving for anybody else was a horrible experience. I was the first "celebrity" (even though I cringe at that terminology) that ever talked to him and bought him coffee every morning. Whenever I go out of the country, I always bring him along, free of charge. Usually he never drives me anywhere, and that's what I want. Gabe coming with me is a vacation for him and his family, because he brings them along too. His son, Logan, is a year older than Piper and they get along great. In a way, I think she's found her one and only in him, but Piper has always been a boy magnet. She is also very cynical, just like her mother. His wife, Jamie, is great too and we all get along well. The trips are my way of saying Thank You to Gabe for all the times I've broken down in his car.

"That sounds exciting. Well here we are. Have a great day Miss Bella. What time shall I pick you up?" He said as he opened the door for me.

"Maybe around three? Is that okay for you?"

"Perfect. See you then." And he got into the car and drove away while I entered the office.

The record label headquarters was actually located in London, and I always made frequent trips there. It was always for a week at most when there was a meeting, and those are the only trips Gabe didn't come on because they were useless. Piper didn't even come on all of them. Whenever they went for longer than 4 days she came, but a lot of the times she just stayed with her Aunt Lai and Uncle Nate. However, even if the company in New York wasn't the headquarters, it was beautiful. The lobby had a very modern, glass feel to it. The over head lights were shaped geometrically, with glass windows everywhere. The big black desk sat at a back wall, with the words Eclipse Records etched into the wall behind it in chrome. The floor was made of slate blue tile, and there were comfortable chairs and a few sofas scattered around, in case we wanted to sit down. The whole building was actually quite small, but it made up for the small size in height. My office was on the 28th story; Clyde's being on the 32nd.

"Hello Miss Swan." Every time I walked in, the whole lobby would stop and greet me.

I wasn't a big deal, but I was one of the most frequently requested lyricists. I worked with every band under the label at least once. I was respected. And that made me feel good. Whenever Piper was with me, they made sure to greet her too. Everybody knows that Piper is a part of me, and if they don't treat her with the same respect they treat me, they will have hell to pay.

"Good morning Miss Trent." I greeted her at the desk and walked towards the elevator.

Once I reached my own personal office, I was greeted by Kim.

"Miss Swan your meeting starts in an hour. Here's what they have so far, and here's the idea of what they are trying to accomplish." She handed me file with papers, a CD and sheet music. Not like I knew how to read the sheet music or anything.

"Thanks Kim. Anything else?" Not only was she my secretary, she was also my semi-personal assistant.

"There is a Columbia alumni gathering tonight in Dodge Hall. It's a black tie affair, and they would be honored if you will go." Now that I make a lot of money, Columbia can't get enough of me. I always attend at least one alumni event every 6 months, but not without my loyal friends to back me up. I've never been one for small talk, and that's all you do at these things, besides drink expensive champagne that is disgusting.

"I don't know I mi-" Kim interpreted me mid-excuse.

"Lai and Nate are already going, and so is Ryan who is bringing Carri as his date." She smiled at me. She knew that I never attended these things without them. Ryan was from Columbia too, and since he is now a national recording artist dating Carri, my guitar playing goddess, he was more than welcome to come. Kia and Jay were graduates of NYU. Lai was also doing a pretty good job herself, becoming a national photographer for her shots of what real New York life is like. They ranged from the more controversial shots, homelessness and such, to the all-american Statue of Liberty. She was majorly talented, and often shot covers for records produced by Eclipse.

"Sure. I need to find a dress. Can Piper come?" I loved bringing Piper. It taught her how to behave, and when you have a cute 5 year old on your arm, everybody is going to talk about her and draw attention away from me. She's always my date.

...Yes, I haven't dated anyone since Edward. I'm not afraid to admit it. I honestely don't see the point, when I know it's not going to work out, considering that stupid bastard stole my heart a long long time ago.

"Yes, I already called and asked if she was going to be a problem. They would love to have her. You know they already see her as a future student, so why would they waste this opportunity to show her the ropes?" Kim and I both had to laugh at that. It was true. Since the first alumni picnic I brought her too, they've been trying to plan her future. They already forsee her as a Columbia graduate, enetering either the law or buisness field. Law beacuse she loved to argue, and business beacuse already at 5 she had a way of negoatiating deals.

I swear, she's good. I don't know how many times she's talked Jay and Ryan into playing Candyland with her. She get's the business side from her mommy.

"Alright. I'll go. Call and reserve two more spots. Thanks Kim you are a lifesaver."

"It's already been done, and you're welcome." I gave her a smile and laughed at how on top of things she was.

I entered my office and sank down into my comfy office chair that I loved. I loved my whole office in fact. There were huge windows that overlooked the castle in Central Park. My desk was big and black and had a sleek white Mac desktop sitting on the desk. The floor to ceiling white book selves filled with CD's and books occupied one whole wall with the bottom three shelves holding crayons, coloring books, markers, puzzles, children's books, Lego's and Power Rangers. I always made sure Piper had stuff to do in case she came here, and it didn't hurt to keep a few coloring books around. I always found coloring to be very relaxing. Her Power Ranger collection took up almost one whole shelf by itself.

Sure, I let my little girl play with power rangers. Is there a problem with that? She is naturally tomboyish. Heck, I played with Hot Wheels when I was little. She doesn't always have to wear frilly pink sundresses and prance around while playing house. I raised my daughter better than that. And her grandfather wouldn't like that anyways, considering she's a natural at fishing.

A couch and huge white fluffy chairs sat at the side opposite of my desk. The whole wall behind me was filled with pictures, some in frames and some grouped together in a collogue. Pictures of me and Lai, Carri, Ryan, Jay, Kia and Piper and some even with Kim. Pictures of me and Jacob Black, back when he tried to pull me out of my depression, but didn't quite succeed. I hated looking at those pictures, but they're the only ones I had. He needed to come visit soon. I missed him. He was the one that convinced me New York was a good idea, and the one that had the hardest time letting me go. He truly was my best friend.

Pictures of Charlie and Renee and pictures of every single band I've ever met and/or worked for. I made sure to get a picture with Piper and me, so that she'd always remember the important people she met. Autographs, Lai's pictures of New York, and pictures of all the places I've been hung on the wall too. I had a wall just like this at home in my office, and I constantly found myself looking at this wall filled with memories rather than the view outside my window. That wall was my life. It documented everything since I've moved to New York.

Lai orignally came up with the idea of a 'wall of happiness' as she called it. It started back when we first moved into our loft, with a picture of me and Piper in the hosiptal. It was the 'start of a new life' and a reminder of how happy I am. It was great, and now it seemed to grow into a whole wall.

My favorite picture to look at was the one Lai and I took in our clubbing outfits. It was the picture taken on the night that I let everything go on my 19th birthday. The reason I liked it so much was because of the look on my face. I remember taking that picture.

"_Holy Shit Bella. You look hot! We need to get a picture of this." Lai was scurrying around the room, trying to find the camera._

"_I don't want a picture of me looking like a whore Lai." I told her sternly as I looked at myself in the mirror. I had to admit, I did look hot. My red sequined dress hugged my body perfectly, making my legs look long and sleek. My hair hung in loose waves around my face that had very little makeup on it. However, my eyes looked bigger and deeper and as I looked in the mirror, I realized something was off. My eyes had a sparkle to them. For the last year, I looked in the mirror at the lifeless creature that I had become. Now, looking through the reflexive glass, I saw something totally new. My eyes had light and shine. But besides that, I had a look of fierce determination on my face. I was determined to not let Edward get to me tonight, or ever. This was the last time I was going to look in the mirror and see a broken hearted 19 year old girl. I was better than that._

"_Admit it Bella. You look amazing." Lai came up behind me and saw me starting intently at myself in the mirror. She knew the internal battle I was fighting, and she knew that I was going to win._

"_That doesn't mean I want to take a picture." She frowned, and then pulled me back to her._

"_Look Bella. I haven't known you for very long, but I do know that in the short 3 to 4 months I have known you, when you came here in June and we bonded before school started, I do know that he hurt you. You were dead. And you just told me two hours ago that you had enough waiting. Look at yourself. We both know that you're ready to let it go. What if he does come back? Do you want him to see how much he hurt you? Do you want him to see weakness? No. You want him to see the beautiful, strong and determined woman that you are. We want to show him what he's missing, and looking in the mirror; this is what he's missing. You have your sparkle back. It's time to let go."_

_Throughout this whole speech, I couldn't help but keep staring. I saw the look on Lai's face when she talked about me being dead. I saw how she looked when she told me to get over it. And most importantly, I saw the look on my face when she called me a strong and determined woman. It was time._

"_What better way to celebrate this new birth than to document it forever with a picture? If he ever comes back then you can show him this picture and say 'I took this on the night that I couldn't wait for you anymore' and then shove your new found happiness down his throat." She smiled, and for the first time in what felt like years, so did I. It reached my eyes, and that just caused me to smile wider._

_This is who I was. A 19 year old college student, having fun with her roommate, getting ready to go clubbing with her cheap $30 fake ID. I wasn't the naïve 17 year old that was helplessly in love with a vampire. A vampire who could never love her back nonetheless. Nor was I the pathetic 18 year old zombie that pushed away all of her friends and was running away from a past that haunted her. I was done with those two; I left those girls back in Forks. I was in New York, the city that never sleeps. It was about time that I celebrated my independent self. I was ready._

"_Okay. Let's do it." And then we hugged each other while Lai held the camera out, capturing the moment forever._

I almost had tears in my eyes thinking about that day, but I knew that they were happy tears. This picture just shows Lai's talent off. It was supposed to be a picture of two girls, a casual head shot for MySpace or something. It was so much more. It belonged in a gallery. The lighting was perfect. It bounced off the sequins in our dress, making our eyes sparkle involuntarily. It also cast down onto our hair, making the tiny red pop out, matching my dress. Lai looked just as heavenly as ever, and we both had glow on our faces.

My favorite part is the eyes. Lai's held pure happiness and joy, at my expense. I knew she was thinking about how happy I looked in the mirror. But my eyes held everything. They held the pain I was in, but you really had to look to see that. Instead, you could see happiness, joy, independence, determination, and most importantly, strength. You could look into my eyes and see the internal struggle, but you had to search to see it. Instead, it was covered up with a look of strength and confidence, because for the first time in a year, you could see that I was going to win. You could also see my smile. It was the first smile that reached my eyes since he left, and it was wide and full of happiness, my teeth gleaming in the light.

Lai has the exact same picture hanging up in her gallery. I was the first friend she had here, and she was my first friend too.

We were both running away from something. I was running away from Forks and my heartbreaking past, while she was running away from the small town life she hated, and running toward freedom.

We were both lonely runaways who found each other in a dorm room at Columbia.

Without her, I'd still be lying in that forest (metaphorically speaking; Sam _did _save me). She taught me how to be proud and strong. She was my best friend. And to think I wouldn't even have met her if the incident didn't happen. In a way, I almost want to thank Edward for leaving me, and bringing me these people that cared about me. They were my family.

I was swirling around in my chair at this point, thinking about how one horrible moment could lead to all this happiness, when I saw the folder sitting on the desk. I opened it up, and was looking through the information. I was laughing at the lyrics, because so far they were quite funny. The message however, was great. I loved what they had so far, so I popped the CD into my Mac and listened to the story of a lost love.

**Almost** (Bowling for Soup)

I almost got drunk at school at 14  
Where I almost made out with the Homecoming Queen  
Who almost went on to be Miss Texas  
But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes  
I almost dropped out to move to LA  
Where I was almost famous for almost a day

And I almost had you  
But I guess that doesn't cut it  
I almost loved you  
I almost wished you would've loved me too

I almost held up a grocery store  
Where I almost did five years and then seven more  
Cause I almost got bopped for a fight with a thug  
Cause he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs  
That I almost got hooked on cause you ran away  
And I wish I would have had the nerve to ask you to stay

And I almost had you  
But I guess that doesn't cut it  
almost had you  
And I didn't even know it

And you kept me guessin'  
And now I'm destined  
To spend my time missing you  
I almost wish you would a loved me too

Here I go thinkin' bout all the things I could have done  
I'm gonna need a forklift cause all the baggage weighs a ton (baggage weighs a ton)  
I know we had our problems, I can't remember one.

I almost forgot to say something else  
And if I can't fit it in I'll keep it all to myself  
I almost wrote a song about you today  
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away

And I almost had you  
But I guess that doesn't cut it  
Almost had you  
And I didn't even know it

You kept me guessin'  
And now I'm destined  
To spend my time missin' you  
And I almost had you  
(Almost had you)  
Almost had you

I almost wished you would've loved me too  
(wished you would've loved me too)

I filled in a few words were I thought they were necessary, and looked at the clock. I headed downstairs to the conference room.

I loved the conference rooms here. It wasn't a small room with a large table and a projector. It was the complete opposite. They were homey and made you feel important. Two walls had windows on them, while a small yet still large, glass conference table sat in the middle of the room. Big blue chairs were set around it, while a bookshelf at the other end held all of our contracts.

The walls that didn't have windows were filled with guitars and records and awards. The whole building looked like this, and it was nice.

I walked in, and sat down at the one end of the table while the whole room greeted me.

"Miss Swan. How are you today?" Clyde asked me.

"I'm doing quite well. I'm excited to discuss things with you." I got introduced to each member of the band, there were four, and they looked a bit nervous. Clyde and their manager Randall nodded their heads, signaling me to go on.

"Well, I must say that I love the song and I think it's going to be a hit. The lyrics are hysterical, but still convey an important message about an almost-lover type of thing, and given the background that you gave me, I filled in some spaces." I handed over the completed lyrics to them, slightly anxious. No matter how many times I present lyrics to people, I still get nervous.

After taking a few minutes for each member of the band to read over the new things I added, they all looked at each other smiling.

"Miss Swan, this is amazing. This is better than anything we could of come up with. Thank you so much!" the lead singer said, and they jumped up and hugged me. These weren't just tiny hugs though, these were big bear hugs. Kind of like Emmett hugs, minus the vampire strength and the muscles. _Stop thinking about Emmett!_ They were so happy that I managed to fill in the blanks for them, and were probably just over excited about this whole record deal anyways.

"You're welcome. You guys are going to be amazing. If you need any more help, don't be afraid to call me." I gave each of them another hug and walked out the door. In the background, you could hear Clyde talking to them about signing the contract and giving me some legal rights to the song. I quickly ran back to my office, grabbed my coat and said goodbye to Kim.

It was almost 3 and Gabe would be here soon to pick me up. He was never late, and as I excited the lobby I saw the shiny black car waiting for me.

"How was the meeting today Miss Bella?" Gabe asked.

"It went great. The song is going to be a hit with the teenagers." I smiled, proud of my work.

"Can we pick up Piper and then head over to Nordstrom? I need to scrounge up some dresses for some stupid alumni event tonight." Gabe laughed, knowing hw much I hate shopping. I still did it anyway. I wanted to look good and put together. Every day, I usually meet about one famous person, and I don't want to come off as sloppy. Alice would be very pleased with the amount I spend on clothes each month.

We picked Piper from school. She came out wearing her cute little pleated jumper, and I laughed thinking of how cute she looked in her school uniform. It's crazy how many options she has. She has an assortment of plaid and plain skirts, plain and plaid jumpers, polo shirts, dress shirts, sweaters, blazers, pants and shorts for the summer. She has more options than I can count. And the funny thing is, she loved her uniform. She loved picking out what to wear each morning, deciding between the plaid skirt and the polo shirt or the plain jumper. It made her feel independent.

My baby girl loved to assert independence, just like her mother.

"HEY MOMMY!" She basically screamed and attacked me as she got in the car.

"Hey Baby Girl, how was your day today?" She didn't even hesitate to jump right into the story.

"It was great! I got to paint today, and do you know what I painted?"

"What did you paint?" Gabe asked eagerly from the front seat. We always played along.

"I painted a pretty picture with grass and flowers and trees and sunshine! Just like the place you talk about all the time mommy!" she was talking about the meadow. As much as I hate the Cullen family, I will always love the meadow, even if I don't want to think about what happened there. I want Piper to have a place to go to when she was sad or when she wanted to think, and she said that place was a small place in Central Park that we always walked past. She asked me one day if I ever had a place I liked to sit and watch the clouds at, and I told her the honest answer about the meadow. Since that day she's wanted to see it, but I told her it was far away at Grandpa's house. Now she pictures it in her mind, and is apparently painting it during art class. I wasn't mad though. I was happy that I was able to share that with her.

"I can't wait to see it. It's probably beautiful!" I said to her, with a smile on my face. Just then, we pulled up to Nordstrom and Gabe let us out at the car.

"What time shall I return for you ladies?" he asked as he was getting a hug from Piper.

"Around 6 is good. Thanks." He got in the car and drove away.

"Mommy, why are we at the store?" She asked as she grabbed my hand.

"Do you want to be my date this evening?" I asked my daughter. She laughed and gave me a hug.

"Of course! Do I get to wear a pretty dress?" She doesn't usually like dressing up, but once in a while she likes to show off to the little boys that happen to catch her eye.

"Yes you do sweetheart. Let's go before it gets too late!" and that is how we found ourselves, me and my daughter, my best friend, rushing around Nordstrom at 4:00 on a Friday Afternoon, looking for a dress to wear to a party at 7. I was smiling the whole time, laughing, while finding a pretty black dress for Piper to wear tonight. By the time we finished, Piper was getting a piggy back ride and Gabe was waiting outside. We arrived home 15 minutes later and started to get changed, ready for another boring Alumni party. It was the same old thing as always, but I just had a feeling that tonight would be different.

* * *

**Let me just apologize for the Miley Cyrus song. Really, it's the only one that seemed to fit. **

**Well, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Bassically, this just fills you in on how indpenednet, succesfull and happy Bella is. She still loves Edward of course, she just doesn't want to admit it. Do you blame her? If the love of your life left you in a forest, what would you do?**

**Also, Piper may come off as being spoiled here, but she honestly isn't. She's just one of those tough little girls that are just too cute. She's a smart cookie, just like I assume Bella would be if we had seen her when she was 5.**

**Sorry, no Edward and Bella yet. We have to introduce herself first, we can't just have Edward jump head first into the situation. It would mess things up.**

**Beware: some parts of this story are not going to be all sunshine and unicorns. Once Edward does come back, Bella is going to put up a fight and be her usual stubborn self. I think her reactions to things though, are the be expected.**

**That's all for now, just let me know what you think. I already have Edward's chapter written, so it should be up soon.**

**xoxo**


	3. Far Away

**Disclaimer: **Trust me, if I were Stephanie Meyer, I wouldn't have given Edward Cullen to the whole wide world. He would just be mine (:

On with the show…

**I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long**

**-Far Away by Nickelback**

* * *

**EPOV:**

The first thing I did after I got out of the shower was mentally prepare myself. If I was going to see Bella again, I need to have something ready. I need to be prepared for everything. So I asked myself a series of questions, pertaining to different situations and how to handle them:

What if Bella really _did_ move on? That is what I intended for her to do after all, isn't it? But my god it will hurt. If she really did move on, I would die. I'd stand there and take it and tell her I'm happy for her, while inside I'd be killing myself. I'd stay in New York, and I'd watch her and make sure she's happy, and then the day that she dies is the day I die too. She wouldn't move on would she? She couldn't. I love her. She's everything to me, and was everything and will be everything. I can't just stand there and let her go, even if she is happy. I'd fight for her. No, I couldn't do that. I'd stand there and take it like the vampire I am.

What if she hates you? I'd win her back. I don't know how exactly, but I will. If it comes down to it I would stalk her or something. I need her.

Will you change her and damn her to this life of immortality? Without a doubt.

I kept having this internal interview all through the plane ride from Canada to New York. I was preparing myself for everything, whether she had kids with her husband, if it was that dreaded Jacob Black that stole her heart. I wasn't giving up without a fight.

Carlisle managed to secure me a driver, and an invitation to the Columbia Alumni thing in case anybody gives me trouble. I doubt they would, considering people at Columbia are extremely dense, but just in case I had it. He got me a driver who he knows likes to go a little fast, since I couldn't take my Volvo with me on the plane. He also knew that my need to go fast wouldn't cooperate well with the heavy New York traffic. I was rather impatient these last six years. Plus, I haven't been to New York since the late seventies. I had no idea where anything was.

When I got off the plane, I easily found my driver with a sign that said Edward Cullen on it. I shook his hand, and he introduced himself as Gabe.

"Hello Mr. Cullen, my name is Gabe and I will be your driver for as long as you need me. Your father, Mr. Carlisle Cullen already has everything set up, so if you need anything don't hesitate to call. Please be aware that I also drive another person around a lot, so if you may need anything she may have to ride with you. Normally, I would provide her other transportation, but I have been driving her for 4 years and I'm her favorite driver and she's like my sister. Would it be a problem?" He wanted to have my consent if it would be okay to have someone else in the car with me?

_I wonder…If I can get them together in a car, would she kill me? Probably. I'll save those thoughts for later._

Was he trying to set me up with someone? I did not need that right now.

"It would be no problem at all Gabe." As long as you don't try to set me up. There could be some complications with that. Number one being the fact that I was a vampire, who did indeed enjoying drinking blood like a human loved throwing back a few beers. Also, my heart currently belongs to my ex-girlfriend, who I let go in order to save her, and have been mourning over her ever since.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen. Where are we headed today?" I quickly told him the address of the hotel that I was staying at, and then we headed into the busy New York streets. Carlisle took this newborn thing seriously, and he wanted nothing but the best for me while I was uncovering what was going on. It was incredably peaceful in the car. I learned how to block out thoughts quite well, and with just Gabe in close proximity, it wasn't that hard. He also didn't seem to over think things.

I was sitting in the back of this comfortable car, when something caught my eye. It was a Power Ranger coloring book. After a closer in depth look, I realized that this was not a male's coloring book. Even though some of the pictures were scribbled, most of them were inside the lines. Some were just beautifully done, which I assumed was colored by the parent, but a male wouldn't even have a coloring book to begin with.

I turned over the front cover and there in big, uneven letters was the name Piper.

Definitely a girl. But who would let a girl color in a Power Ranger coloring book?

Gabe must have noticed my intense stare at the children's toy, because he suddenly spoke.

_What's that in his hands? Oh, that's Piper's. Good thing she has that event tonight, or she would be missing that._

"Sorry sir. That's Miss Piper's. She'll be very glad to have it back. She must have forgotten it in the rush." He smiled.

"Piper your kid?" I asked, mostly just trying to be nice and make small conversation. If he continued to think simple thoughts, the least I could do is talk to him.

_He thinks Piper is mine? Ha. She will be one day, when she marries my boy Logan._

"Oh no. She's the woman I usually drive's kid. Both are as sweet as can be. Her mom brings me coffee every morning and even invites me and my family on her trips overseas for free. She's great. Always very nice. Miss Piper is a spitting image of her mom too. It's uncanny how much they resemble each other, both physically and mentally. They could pass as sisters."

_They really could. I wonder if she ever found the father. To be honest, I don't think she was ever looking. That's good. She's happy, and compared to what she's told me, that was a rare occurrence._

His thoughts had me confused, but I figured he just had a good relationship with her. Throughout this little speech, I was flipping through the coloring book when a spare paper fell out. As I was picking it up, I let out a gasp.

On that paper was our meadow.

_Our_ meadow.

It wasn't perfectly painted. It must have been done by a five or six year old, but I knew it was our meadow. Between the random splatters of green and the occasional pink or purple that was supposed to represent a flower, I just knew it.

And if it wasn't ours, then it was a pretty damn close resemblance.

My heart sank as I realized that it couldn't possibly be our meadow. There were probably a billion meadows like this all across the world. It wasn't necessarily ours.

But how I wished it was.

I wanted this to be Bella's picture. No, I needed it to be. I needed her, and I needed this connection to her. I needed to know that Bella was thinking about our meadow, thinking about us. I wanted her to need me.

I flipped it onto the back, and there in the same shaking and uneven handwriting as the name on the coloring book were the words:

**To Mommy:  
I hope this helps you think! I remember you telling me how much your meadow meant to you, so here it is!  
Love Piper.**

I realized in one quick moment that if it was indeed Bella's she would be married and have a child. This is what I did intend, but I couldn't help the stab of pain in my stomach as I realized that she did move on. Even if this wasn't hers or her daughter's, she would have moved on anyway. She didn't need me anymore, and as far as she was concerned, I didn't love her. But I did. I loved her so much that it physically hurt.

_Is he going to be sick? I really don't want him throwing up in the back of my car._

No. I wasn't going to be sick. What was I doing in New York anyway? I was going to run into Bella. I told myself for 6 years that I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't see her, but now all of a sudden that changed? Why did I jump at the chance to see her now? It was because I was losing it. I was having conversations with her, smelling her, hearing her heartbeat and pretending I was with her when she wasn't even there. The other day when I snapped out of it, and I understood just how far gone I was, I was thinking about Italy. I know she was happy and everything, but really, I couldn't take it anymore. If I were still human, I most certainly would have died due to the pain. The only way I could get over it was to be with Bella. I needed her. She was going to come home with me, and I would give us forever.

That's why I was here, in New York, looking for her. And trying to stop some newborns from killing her.

I couldn't leave without her, and I wasn't going to.

Gabe snapped me out of my train of thought.

_Is he looking at the drawing?_

"Just put it in on the seat; Piper will see it tomorrow. She has a big night tonight and won't miss it." He was glancing at me in the mirror now, wondering why I just kept staring at a piece of paper that got 5 gold stars today in art class. His hazel eyes held a fogy glaze, that I could only assume meant that he was reminiscing.

I was doing the same thing. The memories from that day came rushing back to me in full force. That was the first time I kissed her, the first time she ran with me. That was the day that I let myself get attached to her, knowing that one day I would leave to keep her safe.

And I did leave, as much as it pained to do so. But just staring at that piece of paper made me realize how stupid I've been.

Why didn't I just change her when I had the chance? She was going to voluntarily give up everything for me, and I repaid her by leaving? I was a cold-hearted vampire.

I deserved all this pain I kept putting on myself. I deserved it.

Gabe broke me out of my thoughts. "We are here sir; do you need help getting to your room?"

"No. Thank you."

"You're Welcome. Oh no. Look at the time. I promised them I'd be there to pick them up at Nordstrom at six and it's almost quarter of. I better go."

_I'm never late; I owe that to Bella after all that she's done for me. That boy better not mess it up this time._

He waved and gave a nod, and then I headed into the hotel. It wasn't until I was in the elevator that I realized he said Bella. During the whole cab ride he just kept referring to the mother as "her". He never gave a name until that final thought he had while departing.

He said Bella. The hopeful side of me was jumping up and down, excited that I had found a connection. The pessimistic side however, was taking over. There had to be at least a thousand Bella's in New York. Yeah, everything he said described her, but still. Bella would never have a kid and he thought something about finding the father. She would never do that. Why would she need a driver anyway? Did she become important? Was she making millions of dollars, bringing home the bacon for her new family that I wasn't a part of?

If she was with me I'd make sure that she wouldn't have to do anything but love me.

What did he mean by not messing it up this time? Was it really my Bella? Did he know who I was?

I decided to try and push all thoughts of Bella aside and do some research.

I found that the killings weren't necessarily newborns; it could just be New York crime. It has only been about 25 people so far in the last 3 months. To humans that might seem like a lot, but newborns are known for killing 25 people within an hour. I would stick around and see if it was a vampire, but if it wasn't that doesn't mean I am going to leave.

Bella was still here, and once I found her I was going to make sure she was safe. If it did happen to be a real murderer, then I would do anything to make sure she wouldn't get hurt.

I just had to find her first.

I still had a few hours to kill before heading to Columbia, so I decided to lie on the bed and talk to her.

I know it's wrong, but I couldn't stop. I should be seeing a doctor or be locked in an asylum or something, but I couldn't stop. Pretending was the only thing I could do right now.

My family didn't know about my conversations, and if they found out I know they would send me somewhere to get help. I needed help, but not the kind medication or hour long therapy sessions could give me. The only help I needed was help in finding her, and then I wouldn't need imaginary conversations, because I would be having real ones.

I flopped down on the bed and closed my eyes.

"Bella, I miss you. I'm sorry." I started out this conversation as I always did.

"Edward, I miss you too." I heard her angelic reply.

"I love you so much Bella. I hope you waited for me. I need you; it kills me when I'm not with you." My voice became pained when I said that.

"Edward, you told me to move on. Did you really expect me to wait around for 6 years?" She sounded sad when she said this, and when I closed my eyes I pictured her big brown eyes full of sorrow and pain for my sake.

I was picturing her with her new family, a husband, possibly that awful Jacob Black. I picture her with a daughter, looking just like her mother. I pictured her in a gorgeous wedding gown, ready to say her vows to Jacob. That's when I became truly jealous. I wanted to be her husband; I wanted to make her mine. It wasn't like this was a new thought or anything; I've wanted to propose to her just after the James incident. I have the ring and everything. I was ready, and then Jasper had to go and almost have her for a midnight snack.

But still, she's mine. Not his. Not anyone's. She's always been mine, and always will be.

"No. But I love you." I was pleading with my imaginary ex-girlfriend. I truly am pathetic.

By now my eyes were closed and we were walking in the meadow, getting ready to sit down on the grass. I pulled her into my arms and started kissing her head and her neck.

"I love you too Edward. You know I do. I promise it will all be better. Just don't leave me again." She was on the verge of crying, and I pulled her in closer. Imaginary Bella wasn't as breakable.

"Love, I would never leave again."

And with that, I continued my fantasy conversation, telling her about my day and about the picture I saw in the backseat of the car. I told her about how I came here to find her, I told her about the newborn incident, and that I finally decided that I was going to change her. At that last piece of information, she was particularly excited. I had to admit, I was too.

I could have her forever. After being without her for so long, I realized that I couldn't just have her stay human. She was meant to be a vampire, and I wasn't going to try and fight fate anymore.

I did that once and look where it got me.

After two hours, I said goodbye to my angel and opened my eyes. I knew it was crazy that I managed to talk to myself for two hours, but it was the closest thing to dreaming I could get.

I exited the hotel and started walking. It was time to start looking for the newborns.

I decided to start at Columbia first, which is around the area where the killings were happening. I grabbed the invitation for the Alumni Ball in case anybody asked questions, and proceeded to pack a tux in case attending the gathering was necessary. I felt like Nicolas Cage in National Treasure, ready to break in as a janitor and use invisible ink on a keypad to find out where the Declaration of Independence was hidden.

My scheme wasn't as nearly as brilliant, I was just going to walk around and see if I noticed anything. I'm pretty sure Nicolas Cage would be doing this too, if he were looking for a newborn vampire and his ex girlfriend who he loved more than anything, rather than stealing a national document out of the hands of the government. The only thing that I had to hope for was the ending of this whole fiasco. Mr. Cage did get the girl in the end, and I would too.

I decided to walk towards Columbia, since it was early evening and dark because of the rain. I enjoyed New York, it was beautiful. It was also perfect for a vampire, considering it's the city that never sleeps. At least half of New York sleeps during the day and goes out at night. Could there be any place more perfect?

No, because Bella was in this city somewhere.

When I got to the campus, I walked around the perimeter of it, and then decided to check out the buildings. I walked into each one, looking for any signs of a newborn, but came up with nothing.

The last building I approached was Dodge Hall, where the alumni event was being held, and I decided to change into my tuxedo. I was just about to walk into the building, when I smelt it.

A mix of lavender and freesia and strawberries.

I smelt Bella.

**Gabe POV:**

I knew the minute he stepped into the car that he was indeed Miss Bella's Edward. I knew the whole story, about how he left her and everything. The first day she came running into my car with tears was the day that I knew she was running away from something. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was 3 years ago, and she jumped into the car after coming out of her house.

"_Miss Bella are you okay?" She had her head held in her hands and was shaking with silent sobs. It broke my heart to see someone so young so heartbroken._

"_No." She somehow managed to choke out that one word between her sobs._

"_Miss Bella you can tell me anything. I'm not going to tell anyone, and seeing you like this is horrible. I don't want my favorite client to get hurt. What would Miss Piper think if she saw you like this?" _

_At that statement, she pulled herself up so she was seated upright on the seat and looked at me in the rear view mirror._

_She took a deep breath and told me everything. She told me a story about a man she fell in love with named Edward Cullen. She told me how he supposedly fell in love with her too. The story went that they met in biology class when she was 17, and he tried to stay away from her. He fell under her spell, and they fell in love. She told me about a place where they would always go, the place where they confessed their love for each other. It was a meadow, and the way that she described it was magical. She told me about how crazy in love she was with him, how she risked everything to go against what everyone said and to be with him. She was ready to give up her future for him. He wanted her to do things her way, but she wanted to be with him. She would go anywhere with him, because she knew that he was the one. She told me about how she basically cut her heart out and gave it to him on a sliver platter, something she never did. It took everything in her to give everything to him; she wasn't the kind to really open up._

_Then she told the heartbreaking tale of the same man leading her into the forest, a few days after her 18__th__ birthday. He told her that he was leaving, and she told him that she was going to come with him. He then told her that he didn't love her anymore, he didn't want her._

_By this point in the story she was sobbing and crying and I wanted to meet this man and kick his ass. I looked to Bella like a sister, she was younger than me, but she was well rounded. She held everything inside for Piper. She didn't want Piper to see her break down._

_The story continued, talking about how she was lifeless, how she ran away from Forks to get rid of her past. She met Lai and had a drunken 19__th__ birthday and how she got pregnant with Piper._

The only thing I thought throughout the whole story was how someone could leave someone as special as Miss Bella alone in a forest, and leave her unwanted.

From the minute she opened up, she became my favorite person to drive. What always surprised me about her was the fact that she was clearly happy. There were only a few more moments of weakness after that, and I knew that was all she needed. She wasn't pretending to be happy, she really was. Her past just caught up with her sometimes.

The minute I found out I was going to be driving Edward Cullen, I was enraged. I wanted to kick his ass for doing something so pathetic. He needed to grow a pair and admit his true feelings, or something. I knew there was something to the story that was being unsaid. From what she told me about their love in the beginning, he wouldn't just leave. But that didn't mean I was silently going to throw insults to him all the way to his stupid fancy hotel.

Bella would never sta in a five star luxery hotel for a week.

However, all plans seemed to go out the window when I met him at the airport. he seemed just as out of it.

When he found Piper's drawing of their meadow, I could see the wheels spinning in his head. He was in love with her. You could clearly see by the pained expression on his face as he thought of the possibilities. It didn't help that he kept mumbling "Bella" every two minutes.

I don't think he realized how long he was staring at Piper's drawing. It was a good 15 minutes before I broke him out of his trance.

Once he got out of the cab, I breathed a sigh of relief. I hated his guts for doing something so cruel, but the way he sat there thinking about her was quite heart wrenching too.

I just hope that boy doesn't screw up again.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I love Edward having conversations with himself. It makes him seem more of a goner.**

**I also like Gabe knowing everything. Really, how many times have you broken down to a random taxi driver after a bad day? Well..I never have, only beacuse I live in the middle of nowhere, where taxi's aren't available. I would though, if I had the chance.**

**So, what's going to happen at the alumni party. Are they going to run into each other and have their little moment?**

**Only I can tell...*insert evil villan laugh here***

**Anyways, next chapter we get some Edward POV and some Bella POV on the alumni thing, a better look at Bella's friends, and a weird moment between Edward and Piper.**

**So keep reading (:**


	4. The Way You Look Tonight

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own. Yeah, I know. It sucks.

**Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
And the way you look tonight. **

**-The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra  
**

* * *

**BPOV:**

Since this stupid event was indeed a black-tie affair, formal evening wear was desired. Instead of showing off my new fashion incentives and going with bright colors, I decided that Piper and I both should stick to black. It's always sexy and always blends in.

Piper's dress was perfect for her, it wasn't too frilly and girly, but still gorgeous. It was a spaghetti strap dress that fell just below her knees. The top half was made of black velvet material, while the torso consisted of a lighter black color and the bottom was in black velvet too. Her favorite bracelet, a charm bracelet I got her for her 5th birthday, was on her wrist. It was the ultimate dress for the 6 year old future Columbia student. If any little male future Columbians were present, they would be sure to be drooling over my daughter.

My dress was a classic Vera Wang dress. It was strapless with a heart shaped bodice, and I must say it showed off my boobs really well. I developed a lot since high school, and at times I do find it kind of embarrassing. But hey, you work with what you got. It had weird fabric wrapped around it, with a bow hanging off to the side, and it flowed into a skirt. I paired it with simple black pumps with a bow, and diamond chandelier earrings. My hair was thrown up into a messy bun. Honestly, I thought I did a pretty good job picking this one out myself. Alice would be proud.

Gabe dropped us off at the entrance to Dodge Hall and I handed the guy at the door my invitation, and after glaring at him for giving Piper a weird look, we walked into the madness that was Columbia events.

After we made our "entrance" I immediately headed to the bar and got a martini and a Shirley Temple for Piper. They even went as far as putting it in a fancy little glass. This was a perfect example of how far they got to enroll future students.

"Mommy, I feel special! I have a drink just like yours!" Piper exclaimed as we were walking. We made our way over to Lai, Nate, Ryan and Carri. They were laughing at Piper, who was trying to make her special drink last by taking tiny sips, when Ryan spoke.

"Hey there little lady, make sure to stick your pinky out." And the minute he said that, she complied. Her little pinky shot out and she started sipping her non-alcoholic drink like mad. Ryan just had a way with children. I don't know if it's his sexy British accent, or the fact that he deals with over-excited 12 year olds screaming his name on a daily basis, but I don't care. Thanks to him, I don't spend money on 16 year old babysitters.

I looked around the table and I noticed my friends. Every single one of us had different styles.

Carri had her shoulder length blonde hair curled into ringlets. She was gorgeous, but she downplayed it to the point where she barely wore eyeliner. She never dressed like a slut or a whore; she dressed with a bohemian vibe; earthy and spiritual. Her goal was to flip the table on the whole "blondes are sluts" thing. Even tonight her dress was simple. It was black, but had a gold and brown beaded choker that attached at the middle of the heart shaped bodice. She paired it was gold hoop earrings and her trademark gladiator sandals. She also had gold bangles on her wrist. The best part was the fact that it was backless, and that you could see the tiny tattoo she had on her back. It was the Chinese symbol for harmony.

All of us have them. Carri has the symbol for harmony, while Ryan has the symbol for music because he couldn't think of anything else. Lai has the symbol for freedom, and Nate has the symbol for chaos (it really is chaos whenever he's around). Jay and Kia's go hand in hand. Kia has destiny, and Jay has fate. (It was destined that they met over a pair of vintage heels, and it was fate that Kia bought them from Jay accidentally, when his mom (Kia's realtor) wanted them back, and Kia showed up with them on to an open house. I really don't know. I didn't pay attention.) I have strength. We got them on the day of my 22nd birthday, because we wanted to always remember each other.

Ryan, on the other hand, had his brown hair pushed out of his bluish-grey eyes for once. He was dressed in the typical black tuxedo, and he looked stunning. I don't blame the little 15 year olds that have his face pinned on their ceilings. He is, for lack of a better word, hot.

Ryan is teen idol territory. He really doesn't want to be, but Eclipse markets him as one. However, his lyrics are actually meaningful, not just bubble-gum boy-band pop. He should be way more than a teen sensation, but he can't just break out of the mold now. We keep telling him he should go on Jerry Springer and strip, which would send his teeny-bopper fans away for sure.

Lai is our little rebel. She is a little adventurous in her fashion choices, and she always looked stunning. Everyone knew that she was creative, and she had an edge that allowed her to venture outside of the box. Her auburn colored hair was down and wavy like always. Her dress was black and was made of sequins. There was a big red bow tied around her mid section. On anyone else, this would have just looked ridiculous. But on Lai, it was gorgeous. She had the right air about her, and the right style to pull off a dress made entirely of sequins. She also knew that accessories weren't necessary. The only accessory she wore were her red satin, pleated pumps with black lace lining the outside. I admired her. She didn't even remotely resemble a disco ball. I often told her that she should be walking the red carpet, and not taking pictures of homeless people on the streets. She never listened.

Her boy Nate was in a typical black tux with red poking out, matching his love. He was a California boy, born and raised on the sand and the sun. He moved to New York for adventure I guess. He had blonde hair and brown eyes. His hair was kind of shaggy and a little spiky and he looked like a surfing god.

Now, you would think that the earthy and bohemian Carri would mesh really well with the bronzed Californian, Nate. Lai, our rebellious photographer would totally get with Ryan, our teeny-bopper rocker.

It doesn't work that way, apparently. Carri sees Nate as her brother, and the same goes with Ryan and Lai. I guess opposites really_ do_ attract.

I was talking to the guys about the new song that I just approved today, when I realized I only had 15 minutes left to mingle with the useless people before dinner. I grabbed Piper's hand and we started walking around the grand ballroom saying hello. These 'events' are always the same thing. You mingle. You drink. You get tipsy. Somebody gets a little too much alcohol in their system and a fight breaks out. Usually is a cheating husband, or a flirtatious wife.

Everybody is always so damn dramatic.

Sometime after dinner I was standing at the bar, watching Piper talk to Mr. Morley, one of the board members for the college. He was no doubt talking to Piper about her future. I was getting another martini when some weird guy stalked up to me and was talking to me. I made small talk, discussing my job and his job and I honestly don't remember anything else. I think he asked me to dance, and I think I replied with the common 'sorry, I don't dance' line that I always spit out. The next thing I noticed was the fact that I was being pulled by the arm to the dance floor. The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene, so I just politely smiled and wrapped my hands around his neck. It was awkward to say the least.

We were twirling around, totally off beat from the slow jazz drifting over the room, when I felt his hand try and pull something that I was definitely not going to allow. I had a feeling that he was going to slip his hand down to my butt and try to cock a feel. I knew this was going to happen, because it's happened many times before. You would think I learned my lesson the first time, but honestly, I have a nice butt. In fact, I loved my body merely for the fact that I wasn't that fragile anymore. I actually had muscle to back me up. Self defense classes come in handy when you're a young girl living in a city. They also provide cute trainers, and give you a great workout.

But back to the point. I knew this sleazy guy was trying to get some action. This is a thoroughly predicted move, and it didn't take a mind reader to figure out what he was trying to pull.

_Mind reader…Edward. I miss him. He would never untie the back of my dress. Wait- what are you doing Bella. NO! NO! NO! Edward equals bad. Bad. Bad. Bad._

I quickly stopped my thoughfts from where they were headed when I knew for sure the guy was going to make his move. Just as I was about to smack his hand away, I heard the voice of my best friend.

"Mind if I cut in?" Ryan's voice was my savior, as well as this guy whose name was Mark. The only reasoned I remembered this was because he was apparently a marksman in the Army. I found it quite funny that Mark was a marksman.

Really, that is a play on words at its best.

Anyways, I would have hated to break this poor Ranger Mark's fingers. Ryan not only saved me from horrid dancing, but Mark from a broken finger or two.

The next thing I knew was that Ryan grabbed my hand and pulled me to his chest, gliding to the soft jazz that continued playing. They needed new music. There is only so much saxophone and trombone and trumpets a sane person could take.

"Thanks Ry, you're a lifesaver. I felt what that perv was going to do with his hand." I sighed, playing up the whole damsel in distress thing. For anyone else, I would want to be strong, but Ryan knew I was just kidding around.

"Why didn't you put him in his place? I know you know self defense. I was waiting for you to karate chop and ninja kick him in half." He laughed and I had to laugh too. Ninja kicking was way better than a few broken fingers.

We continued laughing until the song ended. He escorted me off the dance floor, and after giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, we joined the others at the table.

"You look like you could use another drink," Lai stated as I sat back down.

"You got that right," I replied. "I was almost groped, _again,_" I told the table.

They all groaned.

"Who was it?" Carri asked. I pointed out Mark the Marksmen. "He's such a creeper Bella!" She said after spotting him trying to grope yet another girl. Except this time, she had to be well into her late 40's and her ass just had to be fake.

Poor Mark. He just couldn't keep it in his pants could he?

After laughing at Mark being _cockblocked_ (as Nate so generously put it) I had to get a move on promoting Eclipse and mingling.

The next two hours were unbearable, but I had to network, and Piper made that easy. Everybody fell into her little trap, and she was a great excuse to get out of dancing.

At least 5 other creeps asked me to dance, and I would just point to Piper and shrug. They didn't mind having sex with me, but when it came down to me having a living and breathing offspring, their opinions changed.

After a long night, Gabe escorted us home, and hummed the annoying Sinatra songs that were stuck in my head with me. He didn't once ask me to shut up, he just joined right in. Once we reached the loft, I put the sleeping Piper into her bed.

I got a shower, hung up my dress and added it to the large collection of black dresses that I already owned. I started to feel drowsy, and with one last check on my beautiful daughter, I fell asleep on my king sized bed, dreaming about nothing important.

**EPOV:**

The minute I smelt the freesias and the strawberries, I followed the scent. Newborn vampires could wait; I had more important things to attend to.

Her wonderful smell led me to Dodge Hall, where I assumed she was attending the Alumni Event.

_Does that mean that she went to Columbia? My Bella went to Ivy League? And you have to be a big thing to get invited to these shindigs. Is she doing well? Is her husband a millionaire?_

I let my stupid thoughts consume me as I flashed my, or rather Carlisle's invitation, to the guard and entered. I was glad I brought a tuxedo, and I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.

I quickly entered the ballroom and to my relief, the dancing started already. I wasn't walking into the middle of dinner or anything. The minute that I stepped into the room I knew it was a mistake to be in a room full of humans. Not because of the blood. Because of the thoughts.

I haven't spoken to people in so long that my mind reading abilities kind of halted. When the only mind you have to read for six years is yours and the occasional passerby, you get used to be so wrapped up in yourself to notice anybody else's. I barely paid attention to Gabe's mind in the car today, because I didn't notice. Walking into a room full of people, all their thoughts assaulted me at once. It was like a giant swarm of bees coming right towards me. I was attacked with thoughts about the ladies' dresses, the way that Mrs. Such and such was cheating on her husband with so and so.

Really, it was a mess.

And since I've had no one's mind to read for six years, I didn't exactly have enough strength to sort through each and every mind to look for Bella.

And even with my vampire hearing, I couldn't hear anything over the jazz music and the chatter.

Honestly, I thought I was going to explode from the pain in my head.

I settled on walking around, reading the occasional thought, and trying to spot her. I didn't have a game plan anymore. I was just going to see her and whatever happens, happens.

I was just about to turn a corner when I saw a little girl, clad in a black dress. Her hair was a dark mahogany with red in it and she had deep brown eyes. Her hair was slightly curled, and she had on flats. She couldn't look be older than 7 at most, but definitely no younger than 5. The reason that she caught my attention though was the fact that she looked an awful lot like Bella. If Bella had a 7 year old sister, this would be the girl. She even had the heart shaped face, but her skin was tan compared to Bella's paleness. I just stared at this little girl, watching her talk to a man about 60 years of age. Being the nosy vampire that I am, I listened in on their conversation.

"Well sweetheart, you're going to come to Columbia right?" The man asked rather eagerly. I scoffed. Figures he's trying to get new students before they even enter the second grade.

"Yes Sir!" She said with enthusiasm.

"Well, that's all we need to hear," the man replied, a smile on his face. He bent down and gave her a kiss on her cheek, and then he disappeared into the crowd of elegant drunks.

The little girl started turning around to walk away when she pivoted and turned to stare right back at me. She had this gleam in her eye, but a distant gaze and a fierce gaze too. If she wasn't 7 or 6 or 5, I would probably be afraid. I was standing in the middle of an over-crowded ballroom, having a staring contest. Finally, some weird emotion that I never saw before flashed across her eyes, and she turned away from me.

I realized why I came here in the first place, and decided to look around for my Bella. I finally spotted her near the bar, and I hid behind a wall so I could shamelessly stare at her. My stomach tightened in knots as I watched her, the pain splitting through every once in a while.

She was the description of gorgeous in her black dress. It was strapless and had a bow and wrapped fabric. It was simple and elegant and it was Bella. She definitely grew up in the last six years. Her curves became more prominent. She gained a lot of muscle, mostly on her legs and her arms, just enough to come off as intimidating and as much as I hate to admit, her chest filled out really well too. I couldn't help my eyes roaming over her body. Her hair was still the same mahogany color like always, but just the way her messy bun was filled you could tell that it was longer and styled differently. She had side bangs, and layers and she looked older. However, she could definitely pass for an 18 year old. We definitely wouldn't look a bit out of place together. When I changed her, she would just look maybe a year or two older than me. Her hair tonight was pinned to the top of her head, with her new side bangs draped across her forehead. It was a messy bun, but it didn't come off as sloppy. It came off as perfect, just like her. From what I could see, she had very little makeup on. Maybe some eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss at most. Whatever it was though, made her eyes pop. And still after all these years, her eyes captivated me. I was lost. I needed her more than ever now.

She was talking to some guy at the bar, and he asked her dance. She declined, saying that she "doesn't dance" and he wouldn't take no for an answer. He pulled her to the dance floor, me following behind, while she politely draped her arms around his neck. It looked innocent enough, but his thoughts were telling a whole different story.

_What I wouldn't give to bang Isabella Swan. Damn she looks fine tonight. Do you think she'd notice if my hand just happened to slip and hit her butt? I could just slap her butt and then I could get some action. Maybe I can get a few more drinks in her and she'll come back to my place. Hell, I could settle for a little tongue action. I don't need to rush into things right now. What I would do to get her tongue in my mouth. It would be amazing, and that would lead to other thing…I'm going in. Come on Mark, you can do this. Just simply grab her ass…_

I wanted to kill him, but at the same time I couldn't help but picture me unzipping her dress, watching it slip down her new developed body, while my tongue was in her mouth, kissing her the way I've always dreamed of kissing her.

_STOP IT EDWARD! _I needed to get myself under control.

I saw his hand slide down her back, ready to grab her butt. I could tell she knew what was going to happen and she looked ready to slap his hand away. I was just about ready to walk over there and kill him. Nobody touches my Bella that way. He should have some respect. I was marching when someone interrupted me.

A young man with bluish grey eyes asked to cut in. He pulled Bella into his arms, and then they quietly moved to the soft jazz music that was now playing. Right now, it was a jazz version of "Just the Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra.

I'm not going to lie, I do own every Sinatra CD and record.

Anyways, the jazz seemed the ruin the lightness of the song. You don't mess with classics, adding extra rifts here and there. Plus, this guy that's with Bella is singing the lyrics in her ear.

Really, jealousy was not pretty on me.

"Thanks Ry, you're a lifesaver. I felt what that perv was going to do with his hand." Bella sighed dramatically.

"Why didn't you put him in his place? I know you know self defense. I was waiting for you to karate chop and ninja kick him in half." He laughed and so did she. Her melodic laughed combined with any others than mine just sounded wrong.

Wait…did he just say Bella knows self defense? Bella took _self defense?_ My Bella knows how to karate chop someone? My clumsy Bella?

She must have finally realized that she's a trouble magnet, and that she needed to do something to protect herself.

_I shouldn't have saved her. I should have let that army guy get his ass kicked by her, but I know how much she hates the attention…_Ry's thoughts continued around the fact that Bella would have been embarrassed.

I would have loved to see her blush.

She gave him a hug and a kiss on his check when he escorted her off the dance floor.

In one split second I noticed that they were sitting at the same table. The pain ripped through my chest as I realized what just happened. That must be Bella's new husband or boyfriend or something. I quietly left, and started heading back to my hotel. I needed to curl up in a ball and re-think things. She looked happy. Not when that idiot was dancing with her, but she looked happen when that "Ry" defended her honor. I wanted and needed her so bad, and now seeing her with somebody else just pained me more. It hurt even worse to know that it could have been with me and I just threw it away. And on top of it all, I was jealous, which is an emotion I hated. I didn't want to be jealous of this Ry fellow, but I am. I am insanely jealous that he gets to be with my Bella, and he gets to make her happy.

She was happy, and I was just going to ruin it by being here.

* * *

**Poor Edward. He finally gets to see his one and only and she's with someone else. **

**But that's the thing here folks, Edward is always _assuming_ things. Bella is def. not with Ryan, but Edward here just jumps to conclusions.**

**Please Review. I love the reviews that are all like, "Can't wait for next chapter..."  
Well, don't worry. I already have the next 2 chapters banged out.**

**I hit a roadblock though. I just realized that I don't know how to end the story. Now, some say that the ending is indeed the most important part, and well...I want to end it right. So...HELP ME! All thoughts appreciated (:**

**Next we will see Edward's reaction after the party, and learn a little more about Bella's life through the wonderful Wikipedia. Also, Edward becomes a stalker!**

**keep reading :D**


	5. Pictures of You

**Disclaimer: **briannaaa = not Stephine Meyer.

**If only I'd thought of the right words  
I could have held on to your heart  
If only I'd thought of the right words  
I wouldn't be breaking apart  
All my pictures of you**

**-Pictures of You by the Cure**

**

* * *

**

EPOV:

I finally came to a conclusion. I would watch her. I would gladly stand on the sidelines and make sure she's happy. I wasn't going to run away. Now that I finally saw her again, I was almost positive that just leaving would kill me. I would stay. I could do that. I could deal with the pain if it meant seeing her smiling face, hearing her laugh. Even if it was meant for someone else, I could do it.

And the first step to doing it was knowing more about my Bella.

On the way back from the hotel I realized that Bella had to have connections. Regular everyday Columbia students don't get invited to these Alumni Events. She had to make a lot of money or something.

Or, her husband had to make a lot of money. I cringed at that thought.

_I_ had a lot of money, _I_ had connections, and _I_ could make her happy.

I quickly washed those thoughts away. It wouldn't help anything if I was just constantly jealous.

When I got to my room, I saw the computer sitting on the desk. It came with the room, but I never thought I would be using it.

Without thinking, I walked over to the desk, and sat down on the comfy office chair.

I opened up Firefox, and I had no idea why. Google came up as the homepage.

So, I did the only thing I could think of doing. I googled her.

To my surprise, she had a whole Wikipedia page dedicated to her.

"_Isabella Swan, or Bella Swan as she is said to prefer, is a world-wide lyricist signed under __Eclipse Records__. She is a native of Washington state, as well as Phoenix. Swan is said to have moved to New York straight out of high school. She attended Columbia on scholarship where she met __Lailya Wakeman__, the famous photographer._

_While working at a local coffee shop, she met head owner of Eclipse Records, __Clyde Ryder__ himself. After showing him her lyrics, he was said to offer her a job on the spot._

_Now, Swan is the head of lyrics department for __Eclipse__ and has worked with every band under the label._

_It is also noted that Miss Swan was the one that helped recording artist __JayK__ (a two man band made up of Jay Peters and Kia Mastriani) as well as superstar __Ryan Hunter__ and guitar player __Carri White__ obtain their recording deal. She maintains a close relationship with all four of them._

She went to Columbia on scholarship. I didn't even know she had an interest in going there.

She wrote lyrics. She was the head of the department. She's probably met almost every band she's ever loved.

And Clyde Ryder? He's been around since the late seventies. That guy is a musical genius. He knows exactly what bands to put under his label, and which ones to ignore. The first band he ever managed was a small acoustic band that was the exact opposite of the disco music the seventies were known for.

I still listen to them.

I listen to every band he has under his label. But Bella working there? Seriously? He is my role model. And now she is the head of their lyrics department.

There was a link to read all about her personal history, but I figured I already knew all about Bella.

Underneath her history was a list of all the songs she's written or worked on, and a list of all her TV and Radio Appearances. There was a lot of songs listed. I took up almost half the page.

Below that though, was an interview that Wikipedia gave to her. I couldn't help it when I started to read it.

_**So Bella, how do you feel about being a celebrity?**__ It feels weird. I try not to think of myself as a celebrity, I'm just a normal girl. I cringe at the term "celebrity" or "star" because I am definitely not one. _

_**Is it true that you ran away? **__I wouldn't call it running away, it was more of leaving. My last months in Forks weren't that…great, and I just wanted to leave the past behind me. Jake, my best friend, he encouraged me to move to New York and go to Columbia. So that's what I did. The week after graduation I said goodbye to my dad and I boarded the plane, and that's that._

_**You met photographer Lai Wakeman there, is that correct?**__ Yeah, she was my roommate, and she was there at the end of June too. She was "running away" also from the small-town life. She wanted adventure. She became my best friend on the east coast, and she helped me through a lot._

_**What do you mean by a lot?**__ Ha. Ha. Ha. Like you don't know. She brought me back to life. She and her boyfriend Nate were my saviors. I would probably be living in a cardboard box if it weren't for them._

_**How did you meet Jay, Kia, Carri and Ryan?**__ At the time I was working in a coffee shop and they would come in for Open Mic night. Carri was the first one to approach me and thank me for the opportunity. Soon after, they all did and they became a great help with Piper. We became fast friends, and I haven't looked back since then._

_**How is Piper?**__ She's good. She's excited for our upcoming trip to England. Oh, I'm also supposed to tell you that she says Hi. She can't wait for a trip to New Zealand. Ever since watching __The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe__ she's been itching to get there._

_**Okay, so where does the inspiration come from? You're songs are so amazing and deep, what could possibly happen to a nice girl like you to write such stuff? **__High school. Everybody has a weird high school experience right? I mean, mostly the cliché stuff about guys and love and life itself. A lot are based on my high school sweetheart, I guess you could say, and some on leaving and starting over. A lot is about missing things, people and place. I miss Forks and Jake and my dad. I miss Phoenix too, and I write that in songs. Inspiration comes from everywhere._

_**High school sweetheart? **__I don't want to talk about it. It's an awkward subject. And unless you have a giant pack of Kleenex handy or you want my rage to erupt in something broken, I suggest we leave this for another time._

_**So, tell us about your new song.**__Well, I wrote it almost 3 years ago, and it's about letting things go. See, whenever I get extremely upset, I listen to the Spice Girls and like Girl Power Pop. And that's what this song is, minus the techno beat and the cheesy lyrics. It's about a girl growing up and coming to terms with people that hurt her. And being strong enough to get over it. And knowing that all you need in life are friends._

_**Have you been hurt?**__ Who hasn't?_

_**So Bella, is it true that you and Ryan Hunter were hot and heavy?**__ Oh god no. He's my best friend. That would be like making out with a cousin or something. I kind of gag whenever someone even says it._

_**So no boy? **__No boy. Right now it's just me. I think I had enough of that shit in high school to last me a while._

_**Thanks so much Bella. We're looking forward to hear the new song that you've written, as well as updates about your incredibly amazing life. **__Thanks. I can't wait. I'll keep you posted._

The whole interview had me short of breath, almost hyperventilating on the floor. She wrote songs about us, about me, about leaving. She ran away to New York to get over me. Her last few months in Forks weren't great. Does that mean that she had just as much trouble getting over me as I did with her? Did she possibly still love me? She couldn't though. Her songs are about getting over it. Does that include me? Are we really over? And who's Piper?

Wait…does the Ry at the event and the Ryan they talk about here the same person? Is she not dating him? Is he just possibly a friend?

I tried to ignore the rush of joy and hope that pulsed through me at the realization. I still had a chance. It said she was dating anyone, does that mean that she's secretly waiting for me?

She said her best friend Jake. Could that be Jacob Black? I remember him at the prom. He was in love with her, and thought of her in dirty ways that I care not to think about.

I just wanted to talk to her. I wanted to know what was going on with us. I wanted her to tell me everything about her life and New York and her job.

I just wanted to be with her. Forever.

At the time, I thought it would be killing her soul. But now, I realized that I was killing her more by saying No. She wanted it, that was for sure. And secretly, I wanted it to.

There's only one way a person can make someone theirs forever.

Sure, marriage is an option, but really? Do you know how many divorices take place a day in the world? Marriage is not what it used to be.

The only way to make someone yours forever is to sink your teeth into them and bite, and spread your venom throughout their body.

I wanted that. I wanted it to be _me_ that changed her. Me. I'm selfish, but I just didn't want her to go through all that pain and back out on me once she was changed.

That was my worst fear. I felt as if I changed her and she realized that she didn't want to be with me forever, if she didn't want to be one of us, she would leave.

And that would kill me.

But, I have gotten over that fear and now all I wanted was to still have that chance.

A chance at eternity.

I had a desire to run up to her and ask her questions, mostly about us. That desire was last on my list though, the first one being to kiss her, deeply and passionately.

I pushed that thought aside. I didn't need to get myself all worked up. I continued to scroll through the page.

There were links to recent magazine and newspapers articles that featured her. It was huge.

How did I miss this? There has to be at least 50 articles for just this year about her. How did I never notice that the love of my life was a celebrity?

_Because you were too busy moping in a cabin for the last 6 years, that's why._

At least she was dating anybody at the time of the interview. But she had enough of that shit in high school? What does that even mean? Did the happy life I wanted for her not happen because of me? All this time, I thought I was giving her happiness when I really just ruined it for her. I gave her an out. She didn't have to be with me forever if she loved somebody else.

I scoured the list of articles, trying to find something of interest, when I found what I was looking for.

Apparently 2 years ago she bought a new loft in SoHo. It featured a picture as well as the price she paid. If push came to shove, I could just walk all around SoHo seeking for her apartment. That wouldn't work well, considering I haven't really visited New York in over 20 years, and I don't remember anything about SoHo.

I was going to visit her, I just needed to know how. I was ready to just jump out of the comfortable chair, and throw caution into the wind.

Instead, I found myself scrolling down the page, looking for something.

And there I found it.

At the bottom of the page was the address that you could send fan mail to. After typing in the address in Google Earth, I realized that it was indeed an address in SoHo, and it looked like a large loft on the 8th story, with a nice fire escape on her balcony. It was the same as the picture in the magazine.

I was going to watch my angel sleep.

**( I really was going to cut it off here, but then the next chapter would be super short)**

I walked all the way to SoHo, trying to calm my nerves. For some silly reason I was anxious. I think it was the possibility of seeing Bella again that made my emotions spin out of control. Thank God Jasper wasn't here with me, or I'd send him into emotional overdrive.

I located her house quite easily, and I was amazed. It was on the 4th floor, right in the heart of the neighbor hood. It was across the street from a gym, and had a walkup staircase. I didn't use the front door, however. Instead I choose my entrance through the fire escape that led up to her roof.

Once I arrived on the roof, I realized that this was part of her apartment. It was huge, and had nice modern patio furniture. There was a grill and even a hot tub. _Bella would never buy a hot tub._

I saw a door, and I only assumed that it lead inside. I picked the lock, and it opened, only to revel a spiral staircase. I walked down the stairs and realized that I must be in her living room. Upon further inspection, it was a 4 bedroom, 2 and a half bathroom loft. The kitchen merged into the living room, and it was big with all the newest designs. It had stainless steel appliances and a black countertop.

The living room was open, with huge windows overlooking all of the neighborhood. There was a big. A Plasma screen television on the wall opposite the windows, with a huge a DVD player, a VCR and a bunch of gaming systems underneath in a cabinet. By this point I was curious, knowing Bella was never one for video games. I opened the cabinet and took out the video games.

There was one about Power Rangers, two about Scooby Doo, another one about Spongebob, and a bunch for learning.

It was at this point did I realize that there were two heartbeats in the house. One, I assumed, was Bella's. The other…

It could have been her husband, but I never thought that through. I just went looking for it.

I followed it though the hallway toward where the bedrooms were located. When I thought I had the right room, I threw the door open. It wasn't a bedroom. It was an office. My vampire instincts were quite horrible today. It took me almost 10 minutes to realize there was another person here, and when I went to go check, I opened the wrong door?

Wow. I really was out in the cottage for too long.

Just as I was about to retreat and open the door across the hall, I realized that one whole wall was covered in pictures.

It was like my subconscious knew I should have came in here.

There were pictures of Charlie, Renee, and Phil. There were millions with a tall, auburn haired girl with green eyes. There were also others with the same girl and a boy with dirty blonde hair. They must be together.

There were also a lot of Bella with a girl who had blonde wavy hair and a tan. They were smiling together, and in some a boy with black hair joined in.

The blonde and the black-haired man must be together as well.

The final couple that was scattered in the mess of pictures were a girl with light brown hair and bangs, and a boy with blondish hair and square framed glasses. I concluded that those two were together too.

It seemed that my Bella was surrounded by happy couples. It didn't escape me that it failed to bother her, like it did me. I couldn't stand being with my family anymore. All the stupid little touches and hugs and kisses broke me. It tore me apart to know that they had what I willingly gave up.

I recognized Jacob Black from some of the pictures, and what I assumed were his friends. Angela and Ben even had a few pictures scattered there somewhere.

I thought I even saw one with Mike Newton.

What the fuck was _Newton_, that disgusting vile excuse for a human being, doing on her wall?

I tried to control my jealousy by looking at other pictures.

There were no pictures of me or my family anywhere on this wall. None. None of prom, none of her birthday, none of the pictures she'd taken a day before I left her and made the worst mistake of my life. It was completely Cullen free.

It was a painful feeling. I carried the picture of us from prom with me everywhere. I never let go of it. In fact, one was even in my wallet right now. I had a billion copies made and I moved them into our safe. Here I was, acting like the love-sick fool that I am, carrying pictures around with me, and she doesn't even have any.

She probably had at least 200 pictures decorating that wall. Some were real photographs of New York. There were even a few that I recognized as Forks and La Push. They were all taken by Lai Wakeman. If my memory serves me right, that's Bella's best friend.

But nowhere was there any picture of me. Not one of the many that she had with Alice, even a few that she had taken with Emmett. None. It was all pictures of her new life, that didn't include me or any of my family.

There were tons with her and numerous bands. There were even a few with Clyde Ryder himself.

Still. Not one of me.

Maybe this was some sort of sign.

I was about to walk out of the room when another picture caught my eye. It was Bella and the small girl from tonight at the Alumni event. She was even in a bunch of the ones taken with bands, but I just assumed she was a fan or something.

But this picture was different. Bella was carrying her on her back, and the small girl was laughing. They looked alike. Side by side like that, they looked like an older and a miniature version of each other.

I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want Bella to have a daughter, to have a husband. I thought I did. But I didn't. I just wanted her to have _me._

I walked out of the room and into the room across the hall.

There, lying in the middle of a purple covered bed, with a power ranged tucked under her arm, was the small girl from the picture.

The one I assumed to be Bella's daughter.

* * *

*GASP!* Edward knows! What is he going to do? Only I know... (:

The idea of Edward looking up Bella's loft on GoogleEarth turns me on a little bit. I like my man stalkerish.

just kidding. I promise he's not going to turn into a creeper or anything (although we all know Edward has a little creeper in him already). He just wants to see her, so he uses his resources instead.

Edward is indeed of his game this chapter. I made it like this so he could check out the wall with the pictures and see Bella's new life, but also beacuse you know how isolated he was in Canada. The way I picture it, he quite literealy cut himself off from the world.

He's still trying to adapt to people and stuff. He is just to overcome with grief-stricken emotions to notice things that would have taken him seconds to realize.

Anyways, this is totally not realted to SMB in any way, but I got my permit yesterday! My questions were quite simple. I swear to god, one of them was like "Smoking while driving is...a) healthy b) a distraction c) a way to keep you alert or d) a way to deal with road rage.

so yes. this concludes the a/n for this chapter.

please review my lovlies (:

ohh- and check out the song for this chapter. it's one of my favorites.


	6. Goodnight My Angel

**Disclaimer:** I may not be Stephine Meyer, but I am the Easter Bunny.

**And you should always know  
Wherever you may go  
No matter where you are  
I never will be far away**

**-Lullaby (Goodnight my Angel) by Billy Joel**

* * *

I stood there for at least a good half hour before I turned around and walked towards Bella's room. The girl was cute, and I was jealous.

Bella had a kid. She had a beautiful baby girl with someone who loves her, and could be with her and take care of her and give her babies. She had it all now. An amazing career, great friends, a wonderful daughter, an amazing loft in the most beautiful part of New York, and a husband who loves her.

What did she need me for? She was living now. She had a life, an amazing one at that, and she wasn't going to just give everything up for the vampire that broke her heart.

I couldn't offer her anything. I thought my love and adoration for her were enough, but it's not. She had a daughter for crying out loud. A living and breathing offspring. She already had someone who could love her.

I couldn't just take her away from this.

I couldn't breathe. I started wondering if vampires could have panic attacks, because I most definitely would be having one.

I was hurt. After reading that article, I hoped for us to be together. I threw everything into believing in us, Bella and I. Now, it just came crashing down.

Then there was that jealousy. The damn green-eyed monster just can't seem to leave me alone. He had her. I lost. I was jealous of the fucking fact that he could make her happy, and I could just make her fucking miserable.

Then my jealousy turned into anger, at Bella for letting me leave in the first place, at Alice for not seeing this so I could have actually been there to see her pregnant, at James for almost killing her, at Jasper for trying to kill her but mostly it was directed towards myself. I was so god damn mad at myself for giving all of this up, for making this happen. It was my fault. I pushed her away, and now I couldn't get her back.

It was my fault.

Hours ago, I thought that I could stand by and watch her. But I can't anymore. It hurt too much.

When I thought of that I didn't factor children into the equation. I knew it would happen eventually, but I thought I had time to prepare. I didn't think that I would have to deal with watching her kid now. I guess I thought wrong.

_Yeah Edward, you did think wrong. You thought wrong about a lot of things. Do you need the list? Because it's long, you might want to sit down for this. Well, you thought leaving would be good for her, and It was. You thought leaving would be good for you, and it wasn't. You thought you could handle not seeing her and you have proof of that now, standing in her house like a fucking stalker. You thought a birthday party was a good idea, and look what happened there. Jasper almost ATE her. Yes, ate. Then there was the baseball game, where you thought it would be fun to have her watch you play. Well, buddy, James almost killed her there too. Let's not forget about how you thought changing her was a horrible idea, and then you shot her down, and now all you want is forever. You thought wrong about what room her daughter was sleeping in, and you thought wrong about that guy at the Alumni Event being with her. He's not with her. He's with her friend. _

_It seems to me Edward that you have a knack of thinking wrong about a lot of things. Which is quite ironic, considering you can READ PEOPLES MINDS and you have a sister who can SEE THE FUTURE and a brother who can actually FEEL emotions._

_Yep. You sure as hell thought wrong._

My mind wouldn't stop screaming at me. I needed to make it stop.

So, I walked into Bella's room, ready to say my final goodbye to her.

Her room was modern, but still comfortable and homey at the same time. It was done in midnight blues, light pinks and white. Her four poster bed sat in the middle of the room, and right in the middle was Bella.

She still looked like an angel. I think I missed this the most. Vampires couldn't sleep of course, but just the fact that I had to be there to help _her_ fall asleep made me overjoyed. She couldn't drift off to dreamland if I wasn't humming my lullaby.

Now, she could fall asleep without me. She had someone new to cuddle with, someone else to hum into her ear. Someone else she could sleep talk about.

I just had to get over the fact that I wasn't a part of her life anymore, and the stupid realization that I made it that way.

I walked over the edge of the bed, and collapsed and sobbed. I've been sobbing a lot lately. This was the last time I would ever see her again. She changed my life. And if I thought the first goodbye was hard, that was nothing.

At least I could pretend to be strong, but the minute I saw her sleeping that whole 'be strong for Bella' will collapsed, and left me with brokenhearted Edward instead.

I composed myself, stood up and kissed her briefly on the lips one last time.

"Bella, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. I thought I would be able to watch you be happy, but I can't. I can't because I'm jealous. I know you have a kid, Bella. She's gorgeous. She looks just like you. I wish I could have been there to see you pregnant. I bet you looked beautiful, with that 'pregnancy glow' nonsense women always talk about. You don't know how hard it was to be away from you, love. I curled up into a ball and did absolutely nothing. I think I moved to Canada. I don't remember how I got there, nor do I really care. All I care about is you.

"I understand one hundred percent if you don't want me anymore. I just want you to know that I fucking lied. I still love you and I never stopped. I had to leave to make you safe. I couldn't stand around and watch you throw your precious human life away. I put you into so much danger Bella. My own brother tried to kill you, and I did too. I wanted to, and almost did on numerous occasions and that scared me," I stopped, trying to compose myself. I didn't care if she was sleeping, she needed to hear this.

"Bella, I love you. I'm sorry. I talked to you every day for six years. I had conversations with you like you were in the room with me. I went crazy. Hell, I still am crazy. I didn't hunt for months on end. The longest I went was 11 months. I barely talked to my family. I was a mess, all because you thought I didn't love you anymore. How could you think that Bella! You didn't even put up a fight! You just let me walk away, and I think that killed me more. After all the times I told you I loved you and meant it, you picked the one time that I lied through my teeth to believe me. How could you forget? You're the only person I have ever loved! I just didn't want you to give up everything for me. I wasn't worth it, and I' m still not worth it," I was sobbing uncontrollably again. I didn't even try to compose myself anymore. I just kept rambling on.

"You were right though. I want nothing more than you being with me right now love, and if that means making you become one of the eternally damned, then so be it. I'd change you in a heartbeat, all you would have to do is ask. That's not an option though. You have a husband, and a daughter, and a great job. You got married, and you were walking down the aisle to him and not me and just thinking that kills me inside. You had a honeymoon with him, probably somewhere sunny since I know you miss the sun, and you had a beautiful baby girl. You're a career woman, now too. You write amazing lyrics and I'm so proud of you.

"I'm never going to leave though, Bella. I promise. I might not be here to watch you every single step of the way, but all you would have to do is call. I'd find you, and I'd make you happy. That's all I want love, is to see that astonishing smile of yours that makes the most depressed person feel as if the sun has shined on them. Even if I have to watch that smile belong to another, than so be it. I meant what I said in that note a long time ago, love. Be safe. And please, look after my heart, because I've left it with you. It's only yours, and it will always be yours. So please take care of it. God, Bella, I love you so much. If I were a human, I would probably die from how much pain it causes to be standing here, watching you love another.

"Please Isabella, be careful. Take good care of the daughter of yours. She'll be a real heartbreaker when she grows up, just like her mother," I took a much needed breath and paused, staring longingly at the angel that I was reluctant to let go. "Bella, I'll love your for eternity and beyond. I'll wait for you- I promise."

I leaned down, smelled her hair one last time, and turned around to walk back into her house. I was half way out the door when I heard it.

"Edward…" she breathed, rolling over in her sleep.

I paused, wondering if she knew I was here, but when she didn't move again, I knew she was just sleep talking.

Hope pulsed through me at the thought of her dreaming about me. I tried really hard to keep it at bay. Hoping would get me nowhere.

I stole one last look at her house, and then I left the same way I came in.

I hated this feeling. This feeling of overwhelming pain, that would kill any human in a split second. My heart physically hurt, it felt like it was dried up and it kept getting smaller and smaller. I felt like I got sucker punched in the stomach. But instead of a once and done thing, it kept coming over and over and over again.

And I knew. This pain would never, ever go away.

I was walking down the street; it was now 3 in the morning, when thoughts started to come back to me.

Alice told me on the phone that I wouldn't mess it up this time. Did I miss my chance? Should I have talked to her at the Alumni Event? Did I just mess it up anyways?

I kept walking, not knowing where I was going until I reached it. I was outside of Columbia, walking around the grounds. I started wondering about Bella's college classes, what she took. What buildings she had classes in. If she lived in the dorm. How she looked sitting in the library, reading through books. Sitting on the steps doing her homework. Drinking coffee at four in the morning to finish her thesis paper. How she met her husband, how he proposed to her.

Was it romantic? Did she accept right away? Did he put up a fight for her like I would have? How did he even do it? Bella repels the thought of marriage like most people repel mosquitoes.

I sat down outside Dodge Hall, just breathing in the air. Bella's scent still lingered here.

I thought more about her husband. I guess Bella wasn't a virgin anymore. Well, that leaves one of us.

That thought sucked. I wanted to be her first, her only. Just me.

When my thoughts started drifting off to uncharted territory, like what exactly they did in that big bed, did I stop thinking all together.

I realized that Bella was sleeping alone.

I realized that there were no wedding pictures on that wall of hers.

I realized that nothing on that damn website said she was married.

I realized that Alice wouldn't have sent me out here just to get my heart broken again.

It all came together in an instant. She probably wasn't married. Maybe it was a boyfriend, but married? Not my Bella.

_Once again Edward, you thought wrong._

Howdy! Here's the chapter y'all have been waiting 3 days for! YEHAWW!

Okay- enought cowboy talk.

Since you guys asked so nicely for a new chapter, I figured why not? So here it is.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's one of my favorites.

The adward for the most all-assuming character goes too....Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! WHOOHOO! It's nice to have presumptious Edward back.

Anyways- here it is. So I hoped this lived up to you standards.

Thanks to all who put me under Favorite Story, Favorite Author or Story Alert.

and double thanks with a cherry and rainbow sprinkles ontop to those who reviewed! You fanficers always know how to make my day.

Check out this amazing song. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! It's like ExB's real life lullaby with words. You won't be dissappointed, beacuse Billy Joel really is god at the piano.

yeah- so I'm outtie (: Happy Easter to everyone, and if you don't celebrate well, happy sunday the 12th.

p.s. want to make Edward get rid of his never-ending, heartbreaking, Bella-induced pain? Want him to figure out that he does indeed still have a chance?  
All you have to do is....REVIEW!

* * *


	7. SUPERIMPORTANT AN READ!

**Here's the Deal:**

**I'm going to finish this. I don't know when, or where or how, but it's going to happen. I made a promise back in February when I started this that I was going to finish it. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this, and the only way for it to happen was to finish it.**

**But, I didn't finish it. What happened was that life got in the way. I had dance recitals and evil computers straight from hell and an annoying emo boy that needed some help. With all that, I kept pushing it off until summer, when I would have more time and more freedom to finish writing.**

**But alas, my fellow readers, it was not to be done. To be honest, I kinda forgot about it. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when someone PMed me and asked me when I was going to finish it. That's when I realized that it's not about me anymore. It's about you guys, the reviewers and the readers, since in the fanfic world, you rule and control all. **

**So, not only am I going to finish this little diddy for myself, but it's going to be done for you!**

**Have no fear! Soul Meets Body will be continued (:**

…**but not without a good makeover or two. I literally cringe every time I read it.**

**So, here's the plan.**

**Would you like companion stories? One devoted to Edward's view on things, and one dedicated to the way Bella see's it. Or, would you just like to continue in the format that it's on? It would be easier to combine it all, but for the sake of my OCD-like organization skills, maybe two companions would be easier. It's totes up to you though. Who cares what I think? Like I said before, reviewers/readers deff own the fanfic world.**

**Thanks for all the support and for all the love and whatnot. Especially for not wanting to hunt me down and kill for leaving a cliffy this long. And for not hating on me, like I would totally be doing if I was in your position.**

**I love you guys (:**

**I promise. SMB will be here!**

**PS. Go check out Wordroses' "The Sun Also Sets". I betta for them and they rock, as does their British, tea-drinking kinda pompous ass, yet still loveable Edward. Their on my profile somewhere, so I dare you to check it out. Double dare you. TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU (:  
Seriously, it really does rock (I'm not lyin'), and you should go leave them a lovely review!**

**PSS. happy new year, and happy belated holidays! hope the big man in red/whoever else anybody celebrates brought you everything you asked for. Personally, i asked for a chocolate/peanut butter covered Robert Pattinson, but he wasn't waiting under my tree when I got up, so I guess it just wasn't meant to be :(**

**I'll stop rambling now.**


End file.
